Wednesday, November 04, 2015

An annotated thermometer (degrees Fahrenheit/Celsius)

I found this on several sources, so I assume it is public domain.

        *Hawaiians declare a two blanket night
        *Californians put on sweaters (if they can find one)
       * Miami residents turn on the heat
       * Minnesotans plant gardens
        *Vermont and Colorado residents go to outdoor concerts
       * Californians shiver uncontrollably
       * Minnesotans sunbathe
       * Italian cars don't start
       * Distilled water freezes
       * You can see your breath
       * You plan a vacation in Florida
       * Politicians begin to worry about the homeless
       * Minnesotans eat ice cream
       * Boston water freezes
       * Californians weep pitiably
       * Cat insists on sleeping on your bed with you
       * Cleveland water freezes
       * San Franciscans start thinking favorably of LA
       * Green Bay Packers fans put on T-shirts
       * French cars won’t start
        * You plan a vacation in CANCUN!!!!! 
       * Minnesotans eat ice cream
        * Canadians go swimming
       * Politicians begin to talk about the homeless 
       * Too cold to snow
       * You need jumper cables to get the car going 
       * New York landlords turn on the heat
        * Alaskans put on t-shirts 
       * You can hear your breath
       * You plan a vacation in Hawaii
       * American cars don't start
       * Too cold to skate
        * German cars don’t start
        * Eyes freeze shut when you blink
       * You can cut your breath and use it to build an igloo   
       * Miamians cease to exist
       * Minnesotans lick flagpoles 
       * Cat insists on sleeping in your pajamas with you
       * Politicians actually do something about the homeless
       * People in LaCrosse, Wisconsin think about taking down screens
       * Too cold to kiss
       * You need jumper cables to get the driver going
       * Japanese cars don't start
       * Minnesota Twins head for spring training
       * You plan a two-week hot bath       
       * Bock beer production begins
       * Minnesotans shovel snow off roof
       * Mercury freezes
       * Too cold to think
       * Minnesotans button top button
       * Californians disappear
       * Car insists on sleeping in your bed with you
       * Canadians put on sweaters
       * Congressional hot air freezes
       * Alaskans close the bathroom window
       * Green Bay Packers practice indoors
       * Walruses abandon Aleutians
       * Minnesotans put gloves away, take out mittens
       * Boy Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby
       * Minneapolis residents replace diving boards with hockey nets
       * Ridgeway snowmobilers organize trans-river race to Buffalo, WI
       * Polar bears abandon Baffin Island
       * Girl Scouts in Eau Claire start Klondike Derby
        *Miinesota Viking Fans order hot cocoa at the game
       * Lawyers chase ambulances for no more than 10 miles
       * Wisconsinites migrate to Minnesota thinking it MUST be warmer 
       * Santa Claus abandons North Pole 
       * Minnesotans pull down earflaps
       * Ethyl alcohol freezes
       * The University of Minnesota (Twin Cities Campus) closes
       * Superconductivity
       * Helium becomes a liquid
       * Hell freezes over
       * Illinois drivers drop below 85 MPH on I-90
       * Incumbent politician renounces a campaign contribution
   -460/-273  (Absolute Zero)
       * All atomic motion ceases
       * Minnesotans allow as to how it's getting a mite nippy
       * The University of Minnesota-Duluth is closed


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